I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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