some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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