I only kidnapped one of them. chill
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Randomize
