fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
