So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
My liver just had a heart attack.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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