in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
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Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
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I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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