I have demons in me.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Randomize
