I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
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