I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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