I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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