Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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