she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
