when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
