Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Alive.
So much puke
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Randomize
