I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
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