In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Buhtt sex?
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Randomize
