You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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