fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
