I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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