There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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