I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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