I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
