I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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