At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
