just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
