Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
