so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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