On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
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