how do flat chested girls get laid?
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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