I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
This baby is an asshole
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
