I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
