Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize
