Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
