$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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