I'm going to rape someone's good day.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
