the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
