whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Randomize
