pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
