therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Randomize
