There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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