I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize