I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Randomize
