i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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