Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
