This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
