I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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