The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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