I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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