Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
