But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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