I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
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