do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
