If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
