i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Randomize
