Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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