When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
