Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
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