He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
pray to the hookup gods
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
