conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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