Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
