Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
