We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
