I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
The struggles of a small town man whore
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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