i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
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